Shall We Try This Again? or to PWC or not to PWC?

Ummm....hello? Is this thing on?

So...here I am...a married and gainfully employed lady...and whadaya know...a job and planning a wedding completely KILLED any thought of regularly blogging I might have delusionally had! Sorry my friends.

But....I'm back. And I'm really going to do this. I've got stories to tell...a wedding I want to recap (while it's still fresh)...adventures as a newlywed to chronicle...and in general...just stuff to write about. I've always liked writing it out...helps me think. So, shall we give it another go?

I do need some input - I am actively considering the PWC. As a recently reformed wedding blog nerd (seriously - they are like crack) - that is known as the Post-Wedding Chop. My hair is LONG...not to mention THICK. This is me & Alan at the rehearsal dinner - which was a MONTH ago...and I am pretty sre it's grown another 4 inches since then.

So of course - I googled haircuts - I know I'm looking at mid length (so as to avoid a repeat of THIS disaster a la 10th grade). Go ahead and soak this in....which by the way - I am considering this my penance for 9 months of blogging absence. You. Are. Welcome.

So....back to googling haircuts - I am mildly embarrassed to admit that I googled "Sandra Bullock Hairstyles" just to see what might work. I mean - I get told it enough - I figure if it works on her - it might not be hideous on me. Here's where I'm thinking we'll end up:

Whatcha think?

Also as a wedding teaser - here's one of the pro pics...from the fabulous Dreamland Images. This was snapped while I was TCDB or Taking Care of Dental Business. I gave her my best "fierce". One word = FAIL.

Seriously - it feels good to be back!

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

Geez.

I wish I could say it's been a while...but it's been longer than a while! I don't really have an excuse for not updating recently. I can say the first week (yeesh - that's bad when I have to think back to the *first* week) I was really busy. After that, it felt like I hadn't talked to a friend in a while...and I had a lot to say...and I wanted to do it justice...which I knew would take a while...and I couldn't seem to find the time...or the gumption...to do it.

So, I'm sorry. But, I am renewed...rededicated...and full of updates to share. It might take a few posts to get all caught up...but there's some cool stuff in the mix.

I'm back. I'm ready to blog. Oh...and I HAVE A JOB!!!!!

More to come (within the next 24 hours...promise!)...

What's A-Going On?!

Time for some updates!

First - sweet Ned. Things seem to be doing a little better. He remains stable but he hasn't been making a ton of progress. Yesterday, his lung x-ray looked better and he had a heart echo today that showed great heart function and somewhat less pressure in the lungs which is all great news! Additionally, it looks like some of the hypertension may be reversible. Betsy and Travis are in the process of getting a consultation from the UNC-Chapel Hill hospital which was where Ned was treated for his first 3 months, for their peace of mind. Please continue to pray for this little man and his family, as well as for guidance for all the doctors deciding on his course of treatment. We are in MUCH better shape than this time last week, let's hope and pray it stays on a positive track!!

Okay - onto other stuff that's been happening lately...

I've been fighting with a cough since the beginning of July. I finally went to the doctor last week - and of course - it had turned into bronchitis. I've been taking some medicine including an inhaler and things seem to be getting gradually better. I don't cough every time I laugh anymore...just every other time. By the way, the picture of coughing is way cuter than an action shot of me coughing. I thought I'd spare you. You. Are. Welcome.

The job hunt continues! The interview last week went well and I'm still hoping to have some additional interviews with that company. I have an interview for a different company on Friday morning...and I'm pretty pumped about it. It's a job that's pretty different than what I've been doing and I think it would be a great change of course for me. If you wouldn't mind, say a little prayer for me on Friday morning!

Wedding planning got put on hold for few weeks, but we are back in the mix! This week, we should get contracts signed for the band, the photog and the caterer. I'm also hoping to meet with the florist next week.

I'm trying to get as much done before I start my (hopefully soon to come) new job. Any suggestions on big things I should try and take care of now considering we are about 9 months out?

I really have no reason for including this picture - except that I found it when looking for wedding clip art...and thought these little guys were darling. So, I thought I'd share!

I was also perusing my pictures yesterday and was struck this beautiful picture of some lovely orchids that Alan & I saw on a trip to Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens early this year (Flashback on that to come at some point).

I opened it up full size and was blown away by how beautiful and perfect it is. I think about the things that I've made over my life be it a cake, a drawing, a powerpoint presentation for work, a dinner or anything else...it's never been perfect. Most of the time it's not even close.

I looked at this picture and remembered the verse from James which says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights" (James 1:17). This reminded me of all the amazing blessings I have in my life and how they are all truly gifts from God.

And then I remembered that he created this and every other plant in a day's work. "Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on that land that bear fruit with the seed in it, according to their various kinds. And it was so." (Genesis 1:11) If He can make something like this...so complex, so beautiful, so perfect...on a day when he whipped up quite a few other things (at this point we know of 297,325 others), think of the things He can do in our lives if we ask Him and then let Him.

Simply. Amazing.

Oh...and I wouldn't mind one of these!

Long Overdue

Whew...

It has been a busy and emotionally draining few days. We got back into town from grandaddy's late Saturday night, and since, I've been thinking "I need to blog..." but just haven't gotten the gumption to sit down & write about what all has happened. But, here we are. So I apologize for being a little late...and for the length of this post.

First, Ned. He made it through Thursday night with continued gradual improvement. Since then, he has remained relatively stable with a few blips in the road with maintaining his heart rate and blood pressure. In general, he seems a little better, but he is still very sick. I think the big upside is that they think they have gotten rid of the MRSA, but he still is having significant lung issues related to the pneumonia and is still having problems with the pulmonary hypertension. So, he still needs our prayers!

On that note, there has been a facebook group established for him called Praying for Ned ("PFN"). Through that group, I think the administrator (a guy from Travis & Betsy's town) will be posting Betsy's updates that she's been putting on Facebook. If you are on Facebook, please join, to show your support and to get updates. I promise, those will be far more accurate and more regular than ones on here will be!

Alan & I did get to spend some time at the hospital with Travis, Betsy & little Ned on Sunday. Ned looked so much better than when we saw him Thursday and Friday. In general, everyone's spirits seem a little lighter...and most importantly, there is an air of hope. I think this whole thing has reminded me the power of hope in any situation. We are going to see them tonight, and I'm anxious to love on them all again soon.

Okay - the other thing happening over the past few days was Grandaddy's funeral. Alan and I ended up going together to Goldsboro, NC after visiting the hospital on Friday. Due to the insane storms across the state, it took us about 5 hours. When we got there, I was immediately a ball of mixed emotions. Needless to say, Thursday had been a roller coaster of a day, between finding out about Grandaddy's passing to the whole Ned situation that happened that afternoon.

It was so nice to pull up go Grandaddy's farm and see all the wonderful, familiar, loving faces waiting on us and to get 20 big ol' hugs within 5 minutes. It was nice to be with a group that knew and loved Grandaddy as well and as much as I did. It was a mixed feeling on Friday as so many of us were gathered munching on the mounds of food that had been delivered to the house since Thursday afternoon. Everyone was happy to be together, but you couldn't help but notice that Grandaddy was missing. I did find myself reflecting on how happy he would have been to have been there on Friday night with all of us together...and then catching myself thinking, "but wait, he is here."

Saturday was the day that we did a combination of the visitation, funeral service and burial. It all happened at Grandaddy's Quaker church in Goldsboro. We got to see him before the closed the casket. He looked like a version of himself...sort of...but I definitely thought they used too much makeup. Mainly because grandaddy didn't have his trademark tanline on his face. You see, as he was a farmer his whole life, and always had on a hat (see picture from Thursday's post), the top of his head from just over his eyebrows back, was always a lot lighter than the rest of his face. On Saturday, he was all the same color...it seemed strange.

Anyway - we stood in a long line of family and for an hour greeted friends, neighbors and mostly folks that considered Grandaddy an adopted family member. Since it was a Quaker service, there was lots of quiet time to reflect on the life of Conard. There was also a time that anyone who felt led could stand and share their thoughts. I was blown away by how many people stood and told stories. A lot were funny...and I loved that. I think they would have continued to go on for a while had we more time to spend together.

After the service, we all traveled via processional to the family cemetery which is just around the corner from my grandaddy's farm. He was instrumental in cleaning it up and getting it back to its former glory. That was where we buried my grandmother in 2002. And that's where we buried grandaddy. Right next to his sweetheart of 54 years.

After the burial, we all traveled back to the church where we ate a huge meal and just spent more time together as a family of folks who loved Conard Massey.

All in all, it was about as good of a day as could be expected. I do feel like it was more a celebration of his life rather than lots of folks being sad. Before Saturday, I knew he was amazing and that lots of people loved him. After Saturday, I realized how much impact he had had on so many people's lives, and what an amazing faith he had. I will miss him terribly, but I think through his death and the celebration of his life, I have been reminded of just how simple your faith can and should be. And, that if you live a good and true life, and make your decisions according to the Bible and God's will...your impact on this world will be undeniable. He was more than a good man. He was a great man. I'm sad to have lost him, but that is outweighed by my absolute honor of having known him and loved him.

Okay - I know that was a lot, but I just felt I needed to get it out. To end on a lighter note, I thought I'd leave you with a few pictures from one of mine & grandaddy's favorite places on earth - his farm at sunset. Enjoy.

Oh...please keep my darling friend Rachel and all of her wonderful boys in your prayers. They are serving the Lord in a foreign country and just had their third little one named Judah yesterday. Praise the Lord!

1914 - 2009

Elijah Conard Massey

This is a picture I took of my sweet Grandaddy Conard in 2003 at his farm in Dudley, NC. He passed away at 1:30 this morning in hospice care. He would have been 95 next month.

He was a man of faith, who constantly had a bible at his side. He was Quaker and taught me a lot about being quiet and listening for the Lord. His faith was simple, pure and unwavering. He never let things that happened in this world affect how he viewed what God has promised us in the next. He worked hard as a farmer most of his life. He loved my Grandmother Ruby with his whole heart. When she battled Alzheimer's for years, he stood, unwavering by her side and made trips twice daily to her assisted living center to feed his "sweetheart".

He always had the ability to crack one liners that were funny at the core, but also caught you off guard. He always would ask me "How's my Emily?" and then really listen to what I had to say. While I'm sad he won't be at our wedding, I am so glad that he met Alan a few times and I got to hear him say "You've got you a right nice young man there," and to know that Grandaddy thought well of him.

Last time I saw him, he told me he was ready. He said he had led a great life, had a great wife, great kids and, as far as he could tell, had great grandkids. He had done everything he wanted and needed and was ready to be with Grandmom again. There is no doubt in my mind that heaven just got another angel.

He was greatly loved and he will be greatly missed.

I know I haven't given a Ned update since Sunday - and I certainly don't want to forget to mention little man. He is still in Pediatric Intensive Care at Levine Children's Hospital. He has developed pneumonia and has had a rough few days in terms of managing his blood pressure. The last day or so has been a little more stable and the doctors keep indicating that it is just going to take time. So please, continue to pray for Ned's healing and for Betsy, Travis and Jack for their comfort and strength during this process. Also, Betsy has updated her blog which is in my blog list to the right. That might be another place you can continue to check on over the next few days.

I also just realized that both Ned and Grandaddy have the same first name, Elijah, and they both are called by their middle names...which seems exactly right. I can't help but think that Grandaddy just passed his torch to Ned, and is now Ned's own personal angel up there.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."

~2 Corinthians 4:16-15:8 KJV

Weekend Update

Do you ever have those weekends when on Sunday night you think, "Whew...I need a few days to recover from the weekend?!" That is definitely me tonight!

First, to the Ned Update! After my post on Friday morning, they decided they need to reintubate Ned. Not really due to any setbacks, but they think he just might have come off the vent to early. He still has a lot of gunk (yep - that's the medical term!) in his lungs and with the vent in, they are at least able to suction and help him get it out. Reintubation led to a few issues with Ned's heart rate, but as of this afternoon when Alan and I stopped by, and this evening based on what we've heard, all of that has stabilized. The doctors continue to struggle to keep him sedated, so he's a little restless. You can tell he really wants to join in the conversation in his room! So, the prognosis for now is we continue to wait and see and we keep on praying!

Friday and Saturday were spent getting ready for a couples shower/barbecue for my dear friend Jen and her future husband Aaron. Three of us bridesmaids collaborated and put it together. It was a lot of work, but we had a lot of fun. Also, this gave me another excuse to try my hand at cake decorating. Here are a few pics from Saturday night.

Here's the backyard of Amy's house. She & her husband have a great house with the perfect backyard for a party and were very gracious hosts. The weather ended up being perfect and the mosquitos left us alone for the most part!

Here's Alan & Amy's husband Brett grilling it up! They did a masterful job with the dueling grills.

Here's the couple of the evening...Jen & Aaron! They are getting married in Pennsylvania (where they are both originally from) in September. They are two of my favorite folks!

Jen & I posed for a little shot. I love this picture - mainly because everything is GREEN!! I know, I know...it's a little ridiculous, my love for the color green.

Alright - due to the number of folks coming to the shower - I ended up making two cakes. Here's the first. It was a new recipe for the Best Chocolate Cake Ever. Ever ever ever. Not my title...but I got the recipe from HERE. For the icing, I used the recipe listed at that same website, but as I know Jen loves peanut butter (as does Alan), I tried what someone suggested in the comments of the recipe and added a half cup of peanut butter to the icing. It was a big hit!

I originally had not planned to decorate this cake, but there ended up being so many crumbs in the peanut butter icing, that I thought I'd throw something on there. I was thinking the future couple's monogram...but upon a little googling, I found out it's bad luck to use the monogram before they are actually married. Who knew? So, I did their initials in mini chocolate chips, with a little border. It seemed to turn out pretty good...and, I think I have a new recipe to use for Alan's birthday cakes. He was a big fan!



Here's the other cake I did...which was a sour cream pound cake with buttercream icing. This was the real experiment with decorating to see how I could do. I was going for cute engagement cake...and had originally planned to do a little writing...like their names & wedding date, but the stick figures ended up being slightly larger than I had originally planned. It was fun to do and I was pretty happy with how it turned out. My favorite part is her cute yellow necklace! I think I'm getting a little better and smoothing it out and piping in general. I'm still toying with taking a class. Who knows?

The other stuff that's going on right now is as follows:

• I've been fighting a cough since I went to camp 2 weeks ago, and have been struggling with sleep, so I think I'm finally going to the doctor tomorrow. I'm hoping it hasn't turned into bronchitis *blegh* and that we can figure out some good stuff for me to take to get rid of it.

• I have an interview - sort of - on Tuesday morning at a company in Mooresville. I'm actually meeting with the company's accounting recruiter to discuss what positions are open in the company and where we think I'd fit best, get a feel for the company etc. I'm cautiously optimistic.

• There's some pretty major stuff going on with my Grandaddy Conard right now who is approaching his 94th (I think that's right) birthday next month. It's health related and I'm still processing how I feel about the whole situation - thus the lack of bearing my soul on this topic just yet. He is an AMAZING man and I love him so much, and the stuff that's going on is weighing heavy on my heart. So please pray for him and for my mom and Aunt Louise as they continue to navigate this situation.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

In Other News...

It's been a bit of an eventful week. Here's part of the reason why.

I'm very excited to marry Alan...and one of the many reasons is I'm inheriting a new big wonderful family. Alan's family is so loving and have been so great to me over the past year. Not to mention the fact that Alan's brother and sister-in-law have two incredibly cute boys that I already consider to be my nephews.

There's Jack - who's four, full of life, absolutely hysterical and loves Spiderman A LOT. Then there's Ned - who is one and a half, was born with some pretty serious health problems that he's all but done with (read my future sister-in-law's blog here for an amazing story of a faithful family and an amazing fighter of a baby), has a great smile and what I like to call "mad scientist hair". Here they are at Ned's first birthday party in January.

On Sunday night, Ned was involved in a near-drowning accident in the bathtub. He was rushed to the hospital in Shelby and then airlifted to Levine Children's Hospital in Charlotte. He has been in the hospital all week and was on the ventilator until yesterday. In general (and I'm no doctor), he has been getting a little bit better each day, but it is still very much a wait and see situation.

Given my job situation (or lack thereof), I have been able to go spend some time each day with Travis and Betsy (Ned's parents) and little Ned in the hospital. I don't think I'm really helping the situation at all, but I'm hoping that just having more family there helps. I feel like that and constant prayers are all I can really do right now...so that's what I'm doing.

I have been struck all week by quite a few things, and now that the situation is a little more stable, I thought I'd share them.

• Love, love, love. I was thankful before for my future-in-laws, but I have been blown away by the amount of love that this family has surrounded sweet Ned with. You can feel it when you walk in his room. This is a tight knit family that really love and appreciate each other. I feel so lucky to have seen that kind of love up close this week.

• Resilience. I have been struck by watching Travis and Betsy go through a range of emotions from seeing them just after it happened on Sunday night through each day of Ned's progress. I have no idea how I would react in a similar situation, but I can only hope it would be with as much grace, faith and hope as they each have shown. They continue to love and lean on each other and it has reminded me that marriage can be a beautiful thing when you uphold the vows you take on your wedding day and keep God at the center of your marriage.

• True strength can come in small packages. This kid...Elijah Ned Dellinger...is my hero. He's been through so much in his short life, and when faced with this new obstacle, he has put his little head down and pushed on through. This kid has more strength at one and a half than I think I've ever had. What a fighter! He was on some pretty heavy sedatives over the past several days, and don't you know, he was fighting through it...wanting to lay on his side, with no blanket on his feet, just like always, regardless of what the nurses or anyone else wanted. It has truly been a quiet strength as he has spoken no words or even made any noise, until yesterday.

• Be thankful. That's been one that I have really been hit square between the eyes every day this week. To be thankful for those that you love and to tell them, because things can change in an instant. God has blessed us with so much, it can become easy to forget all of them, and how rich they are. Especially the things like family, that we are fortunate to be around so often. God has certainly used this to remind me of the things I am truly thankful for.

I would ask that you continue to pray for Ned and Travis, Betsy and Jack as they continue down this unknown path. Pray for healing and strength. I will post updates as I have them, and I sincerely hope it is only good news from now on. Here's a few more pics of Alan & I with Ned at his birthday...I love this kid!

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:28-31

Mixed Emotions

Life is pretty interesting. It gives you good...it gives you bad...and I try my best to focus on the good. As a Christian, one of my biggest struggles is accepting when things don't work out the way I'm expecting/hoping for them to. It's hard for me to accept that God's plan isn't something that is always easy for me to understand (sometimes it's downright impossible), and to trust in Him that He's "got my back".

Something I was really hoping and praying would work out with my job situation fell through this week. It was a blow. I feel like I'm back at square one which is a little disconcerting. I'm having to refocus my efforts and muster up my courage to get back out there...oh...and to not take it personally. Logically, I know that I will find a job...and that times are tough out there...and I'm fortunate for all the many blessings that I have - even if a job isn't among them right now. Just today, God has shown me that He is constantly giving out crazy blessings that I couldn't even imagine...literally making dreams come true. I just have to remind myself to wait for the Lord and rest in knowing that He is in control. He will not let me down.

Here's some verses from The Message (aka the version of the Bible I turn to when I need it plain and simple...and to really zing me). "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all." ~ Proverbs 3:5-7 (The Message)

Now...onto the good stuff! Katherine, my college roomie was in town this past weekend. She twisted my arm & we went to look at wedding dresses. I bought the first one I tried on. Crazy! I have my wedding dress! I love it and I am done with that part of the process. Which again...is crazy! Hopefully the rest of the process will go as smoothly. A fair amount is done, but there is still more to be done! These last 300+ days will go by very quickly.

Sunday, Katherine, Jen and I went to a bridal show in Charlotte. I might have found my florist which is great - but it also made me realize how high maintenance/bridezilla-like some of the brides to be are. It is my pledge this will not be me! I am trying to enjoy this process and have fun every step of the way...so Alan will still want to marry me in 10.5 months. Here's a little picture that we took in the photo booth they had displayed. It was pretty fun!

Hope everyone had a great weekend and are having a good week!